Hey Rednek, there is nothing wrong with doing any of those things multiple times until it feels comfortable for you. You do you brother. People can laugh and make fun all day, but you will still be the same person. Everyone on this thread is strong, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one suffering from depression and anxiety. My parents got divorced when I was 5, I started acting out and was angry all the time, always breaking shit. My mother thought it would be a good idea to take me to a therapist. At age 6, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Well, my father is a piece of shit. "Don't talk shit about family!" If your dad molests your little brother and looks up child pornography, I'm sure you'd think and feel the same. Anyway, that's where the main source of where my depression comes from. For 12 years I couldn't figure it out. I've been through two suicide attempts, thousands and thousands of hours of therapy, and humiliation all throughout school. I always looked to baseball to bring me back to life, and I still do. I had a full ride scholarship for baseball, but my mom got sick my senior year, and has been sick since. (4 years) This is where my anxiety is terrible. I turned down the scholarship to take care of my mother. I haven't had a full time job in my life, and can't hold a job because I feel like something is going to happen to her if I'm not there. I do want to move out and have my own place and finally start MY life. I love my mom to death and will stay here until I'm 40 if she needs me to. I'm in a hole. A deep dark hole.Thanks for letting me get all of that out.